my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
