There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
