I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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