Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
