Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
