I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
