hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Holy sore nipples Batman
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
