we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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