I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
