Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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