She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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