remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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