Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
