New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize