I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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