Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Welp...herpes.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
