i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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