i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
