I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
