Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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