i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize