So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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