Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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