Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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