I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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