I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
