Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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