Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
