totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
