im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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