I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
