He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
