Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
