I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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