Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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