Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
