where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The chlamydia really affected his face.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
