if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
