This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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