I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
