So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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