By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
