Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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