you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
