how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
