STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I stole a fireplace last night.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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