yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
