I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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