My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So vagazzling was a success
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