i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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