super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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