elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
My feet surprised me
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