Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
