If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
