Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
