Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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