the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
