Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
